Sunday, February 20, 2011

happyhappyhappy

I always write journals when I'm sad, and it's quite depressing to reflect over. SO I've decided to write a happy journal, being in the happy mood that I am.

I survived midterms (kind of), and am now on midterm break. This makes me so so happy because I was probably going to explode if I had another hell week at mun. I seriously don't remember doing anything last week except for reading. I would like to pay thanks to florence and the bys for creating wonderful music and helping me get through myself

I would also like to thank the americans (never thought I'd say that) for making a base in stephenville; thus giving me my wonderful cancer ridden friends <3<3 (at least i think the history is something like that, i could be way off), either way - i loves my stephenville friends!

I feel like there's a million other thing's i want to thank too (sierra & the gym, sarah & her photoshoots, smitty being sofuckingconsideringandcuteicouldpunchhimintheface, gracie...) but I will never stop so I'm going to instead go watch friends, because I can hear it from the tv :)

Thursday, February 10, 2011

lost

lost is the only way to describe how i feel lately

i don't know what's going on. i am moody and irritable and cry a ridiculous amount for no apparent reason. it's almost as if i am a baby again.

everyday feels like a struggle to get through. everyday i'm unhappy with the outcome and i just want to erase everything that happened. i want to change thing's, i want to do better, i want to be better, but i seem to be making all the wrong choices.

but i do want to get better. for myself and for my friends. i know my friend's can't stand me anymore and i don't blame them, i can barely stand myself.

anyways. to do:

- get better
- do everything else in the world i'm suppose too

Monday, February 7, 2011

set yourself on fire

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

puke

i feel like vomiting over everything right now.

it is the FIRST day of the month and i have a total surplus of $50 to get me through until March. I should have closer to $1000 so I'm not quite sure how that happened. It makes me want to die though, i hate having no purchasing power.

My boyfriend is leaving any day now to go away for an indefinite period of time.

Midterms are creeping around the corner and I have literally done nothing in preparation.

It's going to be a cold, lonely winter.

Okay, that's it. I just needed to vent about how much I fucking suck at holding onto money. I'm going to go bury my credit card in my yard when i get home. No joke.