9 Months Later

Epic fail.

9 Months.

I should just make this a yearly blog. No. I can do this. I am going to write more then twice a year. Okay, maybe I said that before. But hey, people change right?

Speaking of thing's that have changed, I feel like i should go in order of the thing's that I listed in my last entry. Here I go:

Sadly, I must report that me and Paul are no longer dating. I broke thing's off with him for multiple reasons which I won't get into it, but I am happy to report that our friendship is still great and I can still rely on him to be there for me all the time, so thing's worked out for the best.

I DID get into UBC and did go on a lovely roadtrip with my favorites paul, shat and kane. We drove to Paul's home in Ontario and I got to meet his Mom, we stopped in Montreal and I got to spend some time with my Ireland BFFL, Nicola. We did lots of fun thing's, it was a great time. Me and Paul went to New York and flew from Montreal to Vancouver (almost missing the flight... oops) Vancouver was... it wasn't bad, it wasn't great, UBC was a great university to experience though.

I have officially been accepted into the program for i.B.B.A at MUN so I am estatic over that. Loving school (minus the actual work), will be going to New Zealand for my term abroad next Winter! (2012, that is). And a great thing happened last night, one of my old friends Kira (another story, another time) is in town so I went over to her father's house to catch up with him and Kira. Turns out that he is the CEO of the Newfoundland and Labrador Association of Technology Industries, and tells me they are dying for students with a background in international business. He's going to put me on the list for events where I can begin my networking (the key to the world). I am so grateful. (based in Newfoundland, travel all over the world and earn hundreds of thousands of dollars.... how is there a need for this?!)

Well journal, i must get back to studying. Gotta keep up the grades!

I will write again soon (hopefully)

Okay shut up. A month isn't THAT bad? Is it? I'll try harder.

Let's see..

- Me and Paul are at 6 monthes! (well, pretty much, we don't actually have an official date so we have a anniversary week : ) aawww.)

- We are fostering a Beagle from beagle paws! His name is Sherman and he is super cute. Though he is a big pain in the ass, sadly I am becoming extremly emotionally attached to him, so I hope someone adopts him soooooon!!!

- School is becoming tiring. Still passing, but losing motivation. Just a few weeks left though, and going to the west coast this weekend! Yay!

- I have sent all the applications off to UBC but still have not heard anything. Sigh. Paul is being very sweet and saying we can go anyways even if I have to do distance at MUN but it just wouldn't be the same. Please let me in!

Other than that not much to say, Saw JFK of MSTRKRFT last weekend! Metric in two weeks! (The night before me last exam..... sigghhhhh....)So, speaking of that, I should get back to Political Science. Yay free trade!

The past year of my life.

Wedesday, March 4th, 2009: And I know one day when I'm lost in the haze of partying and chemisty tests I will suddenly find myself falling in love.

And I was right! Well, mostly. There were no chemistry tests, well not for me anyways. I have fallen in love, it's true. I guess that's expected to happen after not writing for you know, a year. (sry, sry). Unfortunately though journal, I do have to report that it is not with the boy who I have written so many previous journals of before. Though I am almost positive that is for the best. I know, not completely, just almost. It's hard to completely let go sometimes, but I am working on it.

He left this morning, back to Halifax, with his newest lover, Allison. Would it have been me? Probably not. It's hard to tell sometimes, although it was my fault, I don't know if i ever could have trusted him. I was so angry for so long and I still am sometimes. I want to cry and write love notes and tell him how truly sorry I AM. But i've missed my chance, we're both in love with new people now, we're probably completely different people now. I just wish there was some way I could get closure on that, to know that it was suppose to work out this way, to know that I am the happiest I could be.

Lucky I know I am now. Can you feel the love?

I can.

He is amazing. There for me every second, of every hour, of every day.

It's hard to believe there could have been someone better.

So I guess that would be my major update in the past year (I never did find an irish lover, well.. i did, but it didn't work out). I did have an Irish Blog, though much like this one, it has failed epically. Though much like before, Sarah's blog has inspired me, it is so cute and lovely. Basically, I went all those places, I only missed two planes, and I didn't die. I met two amazing ladies in ireland and spent most of my time traveling with them (Besides when i lost my shit in Budapest).

So I come home extremly poor, was happy for two days and depressed for the rest and one week in Quebec. Bought a house, went back to MUN, stopped failing, found a lover, good thing's do happen.

As of now, well, I am in class so I guess that shows how much of a good student I am. (Though I am no longer failing, or even in the C grade. Watch out A's - I'm coming for you!) and still renovating my house. Living with the dream man, Joemystery, and a lovely new addition to my life, Lenoredo. Or just lenore.

I am going to write soon, and again, and again, I promise.

musique

so... hungover... cramps...

berlin night clubs are definitely something else. i've never just been able to dance like that before, the music was flowing right through me and i was high, but i wasn't! it was honestly better than some of the e dance nights i've had. oh berlin, you are fucked.

what the fuck

3 monthes.

i have been home for 3 monthes.

living with my parents.
no real expenses.

in the exact same financial position i lay in 3 monthes ago.


i think i've lost myself even more.
everything is so clear when i'm high it becomes blurry.

i suddenly realise i don't know myself
how can i expect someone else to know me then?

are my friends suppose to be drifiting away?
am i sppose to be scared to turn 20?

i seem to suddenly have no handle on the reality of life and that within it.